I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize