bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
