My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
