I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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