Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
