Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
