oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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