where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
