just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
