Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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