SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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