I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
