I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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