I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am one with the molecules
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think my moral compass just broke
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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