Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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