Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
