Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
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