Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
