Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
