Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
