so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
