not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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