My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
