The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize