Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
All I want is dick and wine.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
