it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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