i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
