Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
