good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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