Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
