Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
