apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
