Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
