I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
