Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Someone came in the potted fern
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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