lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize