In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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