my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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