That's intense
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
