i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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