He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
