If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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