I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
