how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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