PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Randomize
