"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We have so much sex to catch up on
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
