What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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