Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
