R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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