So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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