Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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