we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
