my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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