You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize