do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
