he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
