only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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