Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
