Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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