to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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