Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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