I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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