it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
