oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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