i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
