Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
